Happy Birthday to me!

Today is my 18th birthday, which means I'm legal, and can now be charged as an adult if i go to jail lol!

While I may not be the weight i want to be, i have lost some weight, have started to develop MUCH better habits, am more aware of what i eat and should (or should not lol! be eating, but most importantly.......

Mentally, the last six months have helped me so much. I am so much happier with myself, and am learning how to become a better person both inside and out. I've accepted that when things do click, it will be for me and no one else. I look forward to that. I'm working on getting myself to a much healthier place, and i know that it will come it time. When i am ready to let go of this mental block which keeps me eating and not working out like i should, then i will achieve my goal.

Here's to another great 12 months, which new school new friends and new memories to come! This IS the first day of a new life!

Junior & Senior Prom 05 comparison Prom 06

Finding my way back to the wagon...

It has been a while since I've updated. I've just been stressed out with so much to do, and so tired of trying to pull myself back on the wagon that I decided I just needed some time off from constantly thinking about what i should and shouldn't eat, not paying any attention to that, and just all around being frustrated. The weird thing is that i KNOW things are changing because of the way my clothes fit and my sizes change, but the numbers on the scale just don't, and then i get so freaked out b/c i just don't know what the fuck is going on.

Prom was this thursday and I had the time of my life. It was really really fun, and the best part......i wore a size 10 dress! I admit a tight size ten, but still my goal was a 9/10. In all honestly, idk...the dress i was originally supposed to wear was a 12 but it fit perfectly and it was a Jessica McKlinton size 12, and everyone says you're supposed to go up a couple of sizes in her dress just b/c they're so odd.......and i did try on 11's, 12's, 13's when i was trying different dresses on, but the one i wore was a 10 damn it! That made me happy, especially since i wore a size 8 shirt from H&M which didn't fit when i bought it a month and a half ago, and a bathing suit i bought during the winter now looks good. So My body is changing, but its def. time to commit myself to this 110%, and start seeing a change on that scale. I def. let myself get away with eating too much junk and not working out enough. I'm never going to lose this 50 lbs (estimating) that I want to lose to get to my goal of 135.

This weekend, i drank and ate so much junk, but im not at all annoyed with myself. I knew i was going to do it, and i decided that i wasn't going to stress long before i started. I mean, who goes to the shore for the weekend to get drunk with the rest of their class and doesn't? It was more then worth it...

Class trip to Virginia Beach is in ten days, my birthday is in eight, and Cancun is in just a little over a month. So I've decided that my goal is to be at 170 before Cancun. I think that I can lose about 15 lbs, I really do. I have this quiet resolve in myself right now, and its making me really happy. I'm just going to do this full tilt...eat right, workout, and make myself happy. Even with prom, I felt like i looked great, but the pictures themselves im not that happy with, so i do think that the camera adds extra weight, so I just want to be sure that when I look back at Cancun pictures, im happy. When I get back from vaca, I've got just about 2 months until college, and I do expect to do a lot of working out, and eating right, and just living healthy, so I expect to get quite close to goal before school. I plan to be at 135 by Thanksgiving of this year. I know i can do it.

A lot of stuff is going on right now, with this being the end of my senior year...i've got a lot of good stuff going on, but also a bunch of final projects. However, instead of freaking out and stressing, I'm going to turn towards being calmer and putting myself in a better place mentally.

Off to get some work done and plan my meals out for 2m. I think by doing this just day by day, it should help a lot.

Sending out getting skinny for summer vibes to everyone!

27 days till I'm legal!

Yay on the title :)

Last week and the week before were really good, but since Saturday, this have been a bit...bumpy. I won't say that I've fallen off the wagon alltogether, but I've been indulging.......a corn muffin or two, a bagel and a half this morning....some bread w/ cavier and stuffed biscuit things at a family party, and some cake.....its just been too much bad stuff! Plus yesterday, that I though that I was fully back on the wagon, but then at work i just ate too much stuff......not even bad, but i wasn't hungry just bored! Do you have any idea how hard it is to be around food when there's nothing to do??? lol...So yup, a corn muffin, a banana, a cup of beef noodle soup, and two handfuls of chips that i really didn't want...

Oh well.... So i had a free bagel and a half this morning, but then i wasn't hungry during lunch, so i had an iced coffee and a banana. Now, I'm off to the gym! Once i go three times this week, I've hit that 21 days to form a habit! Yay!

I'm just really happy that these 3 days or so didn't completely throw me off. PLUS i tried on a pair of capris last week which i can now pull off easily w/o even unzipping or unbottoning, and another pair that now fit me perfectly, where last year they were skin tight and did that weird bulging thing around my thighs w/ extra material around the summer......and my prom dress just keeps looking better and better on me! I'm going to do comparison shots of prom last year and this year, b/c i think i look pretty different.....

okay off to the volleyball game at school and then the gym!

Loving the weather! High 60's and low 70's all week!