Stuck in a Rut

I've been feeling really down the last couple of weeks, between the hols and the first week of Jan, but i finally started to feel a little bit better. I had no energy whatsoever and was really starting to freak out, but that has thanfully ended. I've been focusing on just feeling a little bit better mentally before I go and try to do anything else, and I finally feel like I'm at a place where I can assess my goals and really just start taking this journey. I'm just sick and tired of being sick and tired, unhappy, unhealthy, and insecure.
So now that I'm finally feeling better, I'm going to start getting to the gym again tomorrow, which I'm actually looking forward to. I got some work out clothes for the hols and I just really need the endorphins! Plus, for me, the food and the excercise SO go hand in hand...when I'm not working out I just don't have the motivation to eat right. Sad but true...
The good news is that i've been drinking LOTS more water and just iced tea. No more soda for me...I think i had half a can of diet pepsi this week. I've also been making sure that I'm always eating SOMETHING in the morning, i always used to not eat and then just eat a HUGE meal at lunch. It's easier now that i can just keep 100 calorie snack packs, or granola bars, or bags of nuts in my car and just grab one. I also always have a case of water in my car now too. The bad news is i think i ate more bread and bagels in the last week than I ate in all of December! I wish I knew why I have such issues with food...once i start eating, i throw all caution to the wind and just eat and eat and eat. I really hate it and its hard for me to separate hating myself from hating my actions sometimes. I know that right now, its just really important that i stop being lazy and just work on setting up a routine for myself.
It just amazes me how with anything else, once i set my mind to it, I CAN get it done. Not to sound obnoxious, but I'm an achiever...once I want something, I'll do anything to get it. So why I have so much trouble with putting that same attitude to weight loss i don't know. I just know that when I look back and its June, I'm going to say look at those six months...you could have so easily just started some good eating/excercise habits and you'd be in such a better place now. So, its time to cut that off at the source. I AM STARTING THOSE GOOD HABITS.
The past is the past, and I can't obsess over every single piece of candy, every cookie, or every french fry. It's just time to look to the future, because there are only good things to come.